Me and Sports

I can't explain why I love sports when they've treated me as they have...
In high school --
I played football (Fall Season) two years... kind of... I was mostly utilized on special teams which is exactly how it sounds -- that's where the put the "special" players. Kickoff, kick returns, punts... Freshman year, in one sparkling display that apparently no one cared to watch or take note of, I caused and recovered a fumble taking out a QB on the option as a Defensive End. Senior year, the coach sent me in at nose and I was double-teamed. I came off the field laughing that they'd double-teamed me.

I played soccer (Fall Season) two years. They kept me on JV Junior year saying I'd get more time on the field than if I went to the Varsity team. They lied. Summer soccer was a lot more fun. We often showed up to games with less players than you are supposed to field so it was constant PT. I nearly scored a goal. I had a breakaway and was taken down from behind in the box (yeah, that sounds naughty). The opposing player got a red card, our team got a penalty kick, and my coach opted to have someone else take it. Thankfully, it was a friend and he scored.

I played basketball (Winter Season) two years. I think I won most improved player both years and yet I remember a distinct lack of playing time. Thankfully, because I scored in one of the two minutes I played, I had a very high listed PPM.

There's a comedian, I forget who so please annotate if you know, who said that on sports teams he was called "the minute man". He'd ask the coach, "Hey, can I play?" and the coach would say, "In a minute man." I was often in that club, the 40-40-40 club -- up by forty, down by forty, forty seconds left.

I shifted to being in the musical (Winter Season) because they generally won't bench you for no good reason. I got the lead twice -- once in Bye Bye Birdie and once in The King and I. I got so proud of my work I actually auditioned for a professional local production of The Sound of Music. Kicked ass at the audition. The director said they only had one more dude to see, but he had a great feeling about me. Got the call the next day that they went with the other dude because I "wasn't Aryan enough." Apparently, you can get benched in musicals.